Me love?

Feeling really sian now, dont know what to type. Feel like typing the way I feel now, but I just couldnt find the words and I couldnt express out. I feel really damn Fucked up.

Am I doing the right thing? Is it letting out to someone really that difficult. I really dont know how to express this shit out. When I feel fucked up, I just say what I want without thinking. This is what makes me a CB thou. The more I say, the more shit it turns out. Its just shit lah.

Why am I doing things that harm myself, despite knowing there something important. I dont wanna drink, but it just the way to drown my sorrows. Its just childish. And the next day, I think of stuffs again. Its just stupid.

I promise to take care of myself, but promises become lies when unfulfill. I respect promises, but do I respect the promises I made for myself?

Why do I have to do childish things? Am I mad or what? Sigh.

To You:

I just dont know what to say, I hope we will go through this together, and await for the positive side of everything. I hope nothing happens and I hope we will lead this peacefully. I hope you feel the same too. I cannot predict the future, neither can you, so I'll just wait. I hope everything turns out fine. Just want to say I am sorry for everything. I hope I'll change thou. Less crazy? =)